I know, I should be getting ready for the big big day ❤
I know I should be afraid, which I am. But only a bit
I still do not know what is on my way in coming few weeks. But I have a strong strong feeling Nouman ❤ Remember , I told you, that I know we will get married….
Remember I told Farida amidst all those tears and sudden heartbreak that this man is written in my fate and I know he is the one I am gonna get married to and she asked me how can I be so sure? and even my sisters and friends and everyone was suspicious of my mental health but you trusted me. You trusted my belief and intuition that day and we were nikahified exact 7 months later and I was your missus after 10 months? Remember how would I always thank you for trusting me and for trusting my belief?
Nouman jan, I was blooming and glowing in those days. I was just so sure about what will happen this year. I did not predict anything, I was just sure!
Nouman, no one wakes up one day and looks good, healthy enough and pretty, specially from a period of 3 months and more of grief and dying and crying and everything. People notice this change ❤ I have been told by Abu, Ami and Tahammul Mami that you look healthy now.
Sudden change of looks in One Day? You know what I am saying. right?
I can’t tell you how excited, how happy I am ❤ I cant tell you Nouman. But you already know. You know my love, this excitement gets more and more super when I realize you are waiting for me too <3. I remember my dreams. I recall them every day where you say I love you <3, where you say Zallah I miss you ❤ Where you say, just wait for this period to get over and we will do everything together in sha ALLAH ❤ Where you ask Maria to tell me to get ready, you are coming to get me <3. Where you tell ami that you are preparing my papers because thats my next task ❤ Where you hold me so tight ❤
You know, I am craving for every thing. chocolates, chips, biscuits, travelling. everything LOL 😀 I am as normal as a person can get. I imagine you with me now. I imagine our chats during these days. Like when I am silent I imagine if you would here what would we be doing. So in reality, I am normal because you are with me every where I go, everything I do, just as before 7th July <3. You know I havent cried in dayssssssss . It hurts my neck though. When someone talks about you my shoulders and neck get stiffen, I dont know why. And when I talk about you, I feel my heartbeat really increasing and my breathing getting shallow. But I am normal I am telling you ❤ Do not worry about me OKAY love ? ❤
Nouman, Nouman , Nouman. God how do I tell you how much this name soothes me ❤ How do I tell you, your warmth is something I miss every day and I cant wait to meet you in person and tell all our stories in one breath and you tell me to stop and say , Hey relax, we are here for lifetime, you can tell me after your hisab kitaab jaan ❤
Nouman, I hope it doesnt make me a Mushrik. I pray ALLAH pak forgives me.
ALLAH pak, You know my heart, my soul and everything I have in my mind. I have accepted my fate and I for the life of mine would never complain ever about it. I am still thankful for all the time I have spent with Nouman and even after him, for his family, for his love and support.
ALLAH pak, for sure, without any doubt. My first duty is towards you. But I am allowed to express my love towards my husband na? That would not get me a punishment from your side na? For YOU are the one has put so much admiration in my heart for him ❤
Ya ALLAH, when I come to you, please accept me the way I am. Please take my last breath when I am saying Your name ALLAH ❤ Please accept my hollow duas and prayers and salats and reward me and my love please. ALLAH pak, make our child our Sadqa Jariya and make him the one who is always GOD fearing. This is all I ask for him because its a complete dua for me, if he is God fearing, he will do everything which pleases You ❤
Ya ALLAH, I am waiting desperately for the day I meet Nouman, but that doesnt mean I dont love You. You know the love and respect and fear I have for You right? Please make my hisab easy. Please make my grave wide for me and show my Jannah and Nouman in it ❤ Please forgive both of us and keep your mercy on us forever ❤
Please make my love, your servant, one of the kings of Jannah and make me his queen there ❤ Ya ALLAH accept my love, my jaan ❤ and accept me too ❤